Thursday, February 6, 2020

Injuries and Exhaustion

As a 53 years young woman I have had plenty of time to collect a range of physical injuries including a left shoulder rotator cuff injury from my year as a teacher in a school for boys excluded from mainstream education due to their emotional and behavioural difficulties which was inflicted on me by 2 boys embroiled in an angry fight. As their carer I got between them to calm them and accidentally received a chair on my left shoulder thrown by one of the boys as the other grabbed my wrist, pulling my arm behind me dislocating it. 

Not a pretty sight and not a welcome experience.

Nerve damage became chronic and I lost the feeling in my fingers for some months. This was a disaster for a left hander and I tumbled headlong into depression. 3 operations, many cortisone injections and hospital appointments later, I was assigned a permanent industrial injury and resorted to anti-depressants.

I remember having to phone my mum every morning to enlist her support to summon up the courage to go to school. Finally deciding my mental health was far more important and accepting that I couldn't do anything positive for these angry, lost boys, I resigned, discovered spirituality and alternative health practices and put me first.

Although never fully recovered, I learned to live with my limited mobility in my left shoulder, the feelings in my fingers slowly returned over the years and as long as I never got over stressed, the fascia remained relaxed and my shoulder, with the help of hypnosis became part of my body again.

I tried really hard.

I tried to push my body to do everything my yoga teacher was teaching us during the 3 hour long morning yoga sessions.

Week One nearly destroyed me.

Trying to master Crow needed shoulder and bicep strength.

My left shoulder grumbled and moaned.

I kept going, wanting to do my best.

By week three, I could no longer lift my left arm or rotate my shoulder back.

I soon became adept at my own modified asanas.

But I never opted out.

Another of my injury collections is a right knee ski fall torn ligament injury. This is a relatively new injury being only 4 years old. At the time it was a biggie as it happened a few months before my planned relocation to Barcelona from Switzerland. With four torn ligaments, my packing and preparations were scuppered and I was a frustrated mess. In the long term, my knee remains swollen and weak. I can't rely on it if I step down or push up on it. 

Yoga requires balance and my right knee isn't too reliable.

I had a lot of pain during my classes.

Two more injuries made me aware of my limitations; my left ankle and my right neck.

My left ankle is incredibly weak and much thicker than my right after 4 sprains and torn ligaments over the years; most induced by falls from kerbs, steps or stairs.

I am a klutz when not fully mindful.

I think my right neck pain is the result of a whiplash injury when I crashed my mum's first ever brand new car up a tree aged 17 and a new driver.

I was not popular or forgiven for a very long time.

A week after completing my training and becoming a qualified restorative yoga teacher; whoop whoop!!, I can use my shoulder again well and this morning enjoyed flowing through Sun Salutations with ease.

What a blessing the vessel of our body is when she flows.

Exhaustion overcame me twice during my 32 days and I asked to miss Kirtan to gain one extra hour's sleep. No one else was in the dorm with me and I stuffed my earplugs in and covered my eyes with my tiger eye mask. I don't remember the ladies coming back to the dorm so I must have slept. I do know that I needed this extra rest and felt much better the following days.

I am grateful for my body and all she has done for me during my Journey of a Soul Seeker...

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